Power & Privilege

During our orientation in Chicago we were asked to take a look at these questions. At the time I couldn't even begin to answer them. I think it really bothered me that couldn't answer them too. Now after being abroad for awhile, I've had enough time to really think them over. Not to mention the amount of personal growth I've already experienced. I wanted to share these reflections with you and give you a little better glimpse into what it means to be a volunteer, to be a an American volunteer, and most of all to be a representative of the ELCA as a Young Adult in Global Mission.

 

1. In what situations/contexts are you most aware of your own power and/or privilege?

⁃                 When first asked this question at orientation I really couldn't even begin to answer it. I actually took these questions down and just shelved them because I couldn't even process them at the time they were being asked. Since being in SA though my reaction to these have changed drastically. I feel most aware of my power/privilege in every single situation/context here. I have all these fun toys with me, my computer, iPod, Ext. Hard Drive, Movies, Music, etc. Very few others here have those things. In listening to peoples stories since arriving, I have had SO many opportunities and chances to do things in my life that most of the people here will never get to do, let alone dream of doing. College, work, having my own home, provide for a family, owning a vehicle, the list goes on. It will definitely be something I take with me from this year that I never would have anticipated being something I would gain more understand of in my year.

2. Whether consciously or unconsciously, how have you used your privilege, both as an individual and as a member of various groups?

⁃                 I really wasn't able to answer this question at orientation either. Looking back now since having some time here though I think I can answer it pretty well. For me it has mostly been unconsciously that I have used my power/privilege back home. I first identified it when Tessa blatantly told me about it. Im so very thankful that she did and didn't sugarcoat it either. Ive grown up in a western male culture. We strive constantly to out do, be better then, and appear dominant to all others. Ive been gifted with fairly decent intelligence, many different skill sets, and various other traits that have allowed me to advance and be rather successful in that cultural system. I have had to really step outside that system here in SA. Ive become pretty good at identifying when I could take the western male approach to a situation and fix something or show someone a "better" way to do something, and rather then acting I sit back and just observe now. Not only has it allowed me to watch and observed others, it's allowed me to learned a lot about myself. Its been something that I've been able to hold over people. And its something I did without even knowing it until now, when I have been pulled from the system and forced to look at things through a different lens. It hasn't been easy by any means. It too is something I will take back home with me that I never would have anticipated gaining from my YAGM experience.

3. How might your identity connect with others' perception of your power and privilege in the international context?

⁃                 This one was much harder and a much different response then I was expecting. Back home I'm a pretty grungy, outdoor, simple person. Or at least I thought I was. But even my grungy, simple, less extravagant style/identity back home still bears a lot of power/privilege over people in my host community. Things as simple as my Nalgene. As an outdoor/backcountry enthusiast I literally take my Nalgene everywhere, and I'm always trying to drink water. It's just kind of a cultural norm back home. But here, something as simple as having a water bottle displays power/privilege over people. It is not the cultural norm here. Very few people have water bottles. In fact, drinking water at all isn't really a big deal around here in my experiences. In a lot of contexts even if people did have a water bottle, it would be much harder to fill up then it is for me back home. It wasn't even something I had to think about back home, but its a very real difference and perception here. So when I first got here my Nalgene went with me everywhere, but now a couple weeks in it rarely leaves the house.

4. How might you be attentive to looking for ways that power and privilege are lived out in your host community?

⁃                 I think this one is a much less complicated response then I first was trying to look for back at orientation. Observation, the power of true observation can get you a long way. Being dropped into a new culture with new traditions and different do's & don'ts then you're use to forces you to become an expert in the field of observation. I feel like I've always been rather fair at the practice of observation, but I have been able take my skills in the field to a whole new level. I think this also ties into the western male "fix it/out do/make it better" cultural system. When you take a step back rather then stepping in, you truly can see much more of the situation that is going on around you. You get a more complete storyline of the people around you, rather then the single story line you may have gotten if you had just stepped in. The other way I've found that might sound ridiculous but has worked for me is ask. You can learn a lot by asking people who do know the cultural systems better then you. And I've found that most of the time people are more then willing, if not happy, to share with you.

5. How can you be a responsible steward of your power and privilege in your host community?

⁃                 This one has probably been the hardest honestly. Like I said before, I can feel/sense my power/privilege in almost every situation or context. I have had to work really really hard at forcing myself to identify the times my power or privilege is oppressing someone around me. My computer rarely leaves my room. The only time it does is when my host father also has his out in the living room and we are both doing some work. There also have been multiple chances for me to "fix" things since arriving. Whether it be my host fathers four wheeler, something around the house, a piece of playground equipment at the creche, or a system that is in place here that I view as something that could be fine tuned and better organized. With Tessa's help in identifying my western male tendencies, I've chose to step back from these situations and merely observe instead. It has allowed for stronger relationships between me and my host community I think. It has showed them and me that I'm not here to fix or change or tell them how to do things. That I am truly here to learn and walk with them in accompaniment.

 

Peace

 

*written October 7th

Landscape Artist

Coming from West/Central Montana it can be pretty hard to find scenery and the world around you appealing in other places in the world. Especially when it comes to the views and the sunsets. I mean it's called "Big Sky" country for a reason. But I have to admit, I think I've found a very very close second.

It never gets old watching the sunset( or rise for that matter) here in South Africa. For starters, the sky here is the closest thing to "Big Sky" country I've ever seen in my life. The way the landscape and the sky join each other is absolutely remarkable. A slight haze seams to always hang just above the tree tops and coats the mountains far off in the distance in a beautiful overlay of combined earth and sky. The depth and the complexity visible on the horizon here cause me to think I'm seeing things most of the time. But time after time, I realize that what I perceive to be an imagination of my eyes truly is a reality. The sunsets here, in all truth, just might surpass those of my midwest mountain paradise. Every single night the evening sky is light up like a blazing wildfire sent out of control by tormenting winds. The overwhelming glow of red, orange, purple and yellow dancing with each other and combining into the most beautiful colors creation has to offer has a softness to the eyes that you simply can't look away from. And just as the last bit of visible sun falls past the horizon the scene unfolding in front of your eyes has the feel of the most elaborate hollywood film ever shot. And just as quickly as the beauty unfolded in front of your eyes, its gone and lost the blanket of stars. At least until tomorrow, when once again the complex painting in the sky I've grown to love returns.

 

Peace

 

*written October 6th

Man In The Shadows

When you take a step back and truly look at the world around you, it just might amaze you. Scenery can of coarse always be changing and something new and beautiful may just catch your eye for the first time. Or maybe something that you have been pondering in your mind suddenly becomes clear as the midnight sky on a cool spring day? And most of all you allow yourself to receive the entire story of the world and people around you, rather then the single story you may already have placed in your mind. If you're really lucky you may just catch small glimpses of all of these things at once, and your understanding and appreciation for the people around you becomes more profound on an entirely new level.

Growing up in an individualistic culture I've been extraordinarily blessed with many gifts and many talents. In many ways I have spent the majority of my life struggling to find a challenge rather then struggling through one. I see something I wish to develop a skill at or overcome and well, I do it. Im the jerk kid back in school that messed around and procrastinated 95% of the time and managed to pull a solid A- average still. It has been easy for me to "one-up" or "outdo" my opponent at nearly everything. Whether it be a test of logic, skill, artistic ability, etc. I usually could find a way to appear better then those around me. Isn't that what we're taught?

It wasn't until 22 years into this life, and coming to South Africa, that I truly realized how instinctively and by habit I did these things. For the first time in my life I was uprooted from an individualistic way of thinking into a completely community based one. Every individualistic habit I had taught myself now meant nothing, and if nothing else, made me look bad. Since landing on African soil, I now truly understand the words "Power" and "Privilege". One example in particular comes to mind. As most of you know, I rather enjoy my time behind the lens of my camera. I like to think I'm decently good at the art of photography, and heck it's even made me a little bit of money. But when it came down to it, I could use that skill to either hurt or grow my community and my time here in South Africa. I chose to let it grow. I by no means have put the camera away completely, but I've been extremely discrete with it and allowed others the stage. One man in particular comes to mind. He is an older gentlemen in the community, and he absolutely loves taking pictures. He is seen kind of as the village photographer. Me and him have had some very fun talks about photography. Ultimately, it has brought me much more joy to watch him at work. He is always taking pictures of families and community members together. People react for him in ways that they would never react for me. He takes great, candid, and colorful pictures and has them printed for people. When he shows the prints to people for the first time you can literally watch there faces explode with happiness. And in almost every home you go into in the village you can see his work displayed.

So I will remain hidden in the shadows. After all the shadows allow for the best seats to watch and capture ;) the true joy people can bring to each others lives.

 

Peace

 

*written October 2nd

Breaking Bread

The other day while I was getting ready for the day my eyes happened across something that I really was needing to see and I didn't even realize it. " Exploring God's creation and the adventure of life together." It's part of the mission statement of Christikon Lutheran Bible Camp, where I have spent the last two summers of my life. Oddly enough, those few simple words meant more to me that day then they ever had before.

Living in a new place, with new faces, new culture, and many other differences can take some time to adjust to. Ive been on African soil now for about five weeks and I'm just now starting to feel adjusted into a routine here. In fact, I'm beginning to get small glimpses of things that feel a lot like home. The words on the front of that Christikon T-shirt.

It made me think of how many times before I left to come here that I was asked, "Well what are you going to be doing there??". To which my response was always," I don't know". I can answer that question now though. I'm exploring God's creation and I'm on an adventure of what it means to live in community among the people of a rural South African village.

Sitting on the front porch shooting the breeze with your dad. Multiple times now me and my host father have found ourselves spending hours in the evenings just sitting out on the front porch and simply shooting the breeze. It reminds me of all the times me and my own father would do this very same thing. Even half way around the world, two guys can sit out on the porch watching the sun set and be completely content with the simple words and company of another guy.

Sitting around the table, sharing a meal. This one has probably been where I have felt the most at home. Regardless of where you are in this world there is something incredibly profound about sharing a meal together, breaking bread. The laughs and smiles you share with those around the table. Distributing food to everyone so everyone feels satisfied. And most of all sharing in rapela (prayer). It doesn't matter what the food is in front of you, because the fellowship and the community formed around breaking bread together is one that can't be compared.

 

"Exploring God's creation, and the adventure of life together."

 

*Written September 30th

And Strangely......That's Enough

I was reading a book recently called Radical by David Platt. I started reading it not long after I arrived in South Africa and in the begin pages was really enjoying it. But as I read further into the book the more I started to struggle with how contradictory some of the statements in the book where. Lets just say my theology wasn't really matching up with that of Platt. Granted Platt is a baptist minister from Birmingham, Alabama and I have grown up in the Montana Lutheran ELCA church. But I am all for interfaith dialogue, so I kept reading. So, even though I found myself disagreeing with more of the theology in Mr. Platt's writings he had one statement that really got me thinking. "Nothing but the people of God and the Word of God. And strangely, that's enough." He writes this phrase in reference to secret meetings of Christians all across different Asian countries, and how their desire for the Word was so intense that they were willing to risk their lives just to hear more of it.

Now we live in a consumer ridden world that demands more for sure, but more of what? Since being in Lekubu I have come to realize that the "more" I have been desiring in my life isn't something I can pick up at the store or order online. It's the desire to surround myself with God's people, God's children. To try and live in community with His people in every place on this earth. To learn as much as I possibly can about His people with the time I have been gifted with. To continue intentionally sharing and studying the Word together with my brothers and sisters. To choose to make my faith a way of life, rather then merely a system of beliefs. We have so much that we can share with each other simply by joining in fellowship. Because at the end of the day, the people of God and the Word of God, are strangely enough……

 

*written September 8th, 2013

Life, Love, and "Things"

I left Laurel Montana two weeks ago knowing one thing, things were going to change. I didn't know how they were going to change, what exactly would change or even really why they would end up changing, but I knew they would change. Since then I have come to know so much more then just things are going to change. I've learned so much about this world that I thought I had figured out and really had absolutely no clue. I've pushed my own fears and discomforts to levels I didn't ever think possible. Things i have thought about and pondered for many years now all of a sudden have come to light when I least expected them to. And I was forced to not only name them but face them. One of the biggest things I named in the last two weeks was my natural tendency of running from things. No, not the physical act of running, cause we all know I can't do that very well. But the figurative emotional cross country trek i've been at my entire life. I've always known that my natural reaction to things that took me out of my comfort zone was to run, but I never realized to what extent and how hard I've truly been running for so long.

The good news is, I'm not running anymore. YAGM has been the first step in stopping my trek, and turning around to face all the things chasing me. And being a part of this program allowed me to step back and really look at my life before I was even sent abroad. So what exactly are those things I've been running from you may ask? For starters, what is my purpose here in this world? Rather then simply being content to exist, I'm going to keep exploring and searching until I truly find my calling. Now that may sound irresponsible, and heck maybe it is, but i'd rather being wandering chasing a purpose then going through the motions of a life I hate everyday. Secondly, living for me and God. I have spent my entire life putting unfair expectations on myself. And by placing those expectation on myself it has lead others to in tail do the same. Its time for me to live for what brings me to life inside and where God is calling me too, regardless of how it may be viewed by those around me. Thirdly, that ministry and God are going to be a part of my life. I've spent the last 8 years or so trying to live a double life. A "christian" one, and a secular one. Let me tell ya, it's absolutely exhausting. I've learned that I can be a man of faith and not be perfect. I am, and always will be a sinner. The best part about it, I'm already forgiven. And lastly, that life is something worth sharing. It's not intended to be hoarded or lived in exile. Humans were created for community and to be together with each other and all of creation. So, to all those people i've told I will be single and alone for my entire life………lets just say I may be eating those words someday. Cause lets be honest, I love people.

So here's to new wanderings, and scary new directions that are exciting in a whole new way. Ready, set, GO!

 

Peace

*written September 1st, 2013

 

The Land of Dust

            It was just a random Friday afternoon in early summer, and the joys of the warmer weather could be felt all across town. People could be seen all up and down the road enjoying each others company and soaking in what was left of the fleeting afternoon sun. As I myself sat out on the front porch enjoying some of the beautiful weather, a large commotion broke out not far down the road. I couldn't quite tell what was going on from my position on the porch so I decided to do further investigating. As I moved down the lane the noise of the commotion grew and so did the numbers of people who appeared to also be investigating the disturbance to our peaceful afternoon sun. The closer I got to the source of the noise the harder it became to see. There was dust flying everywhere. "What on Earth could be causing so much dust to be flying up all over the place?" I thought to myself. Yes, it was the dry season and it hadn't rained much at all lately, but still this was something I had never seen. I found myself navigating my way through the mass of people that had formed desperately trying to catch a glimpse of what was going on from within the crowd, but this was no easy task. Whatever was happening in there was exciting, because the crowd kept erupting in cheers and whistles.

            After what seamed like ages I finally was able to move my way up to the front of the swarm of cheering, whistling people. I was finally going to get to see what was causing all this commotion. Just as my vision became open to see what was happening I was grabbed and thrust right into the middle of whatever it was the crowd had surrounded. The dust was even more intense now that I was at the heart of the disturbance and it was even more difficult to orient myself and see what was going on around me. THUD! Something, I don't know what at this point, hits me right in the chest and falls to the ground in front of me. "What in the?" I thought to myself as I stared down at what appeared to be a ball of some sorts, still trying desperately to understand what I had stumbled into. Shouts came from all around me, "Malome! Malome Keen!". I lift my head as the dust around me started to settle. It was then that I finally realized what I had been dragged from my comfortable seat on the front porch for.

 

And that's how I became part of a pick up football(soccer) game, in the middle of a dry dusty road, in Lekubu, South Africa on a random Friday afternoon.

 

*written September 5th, 2013