Hope To Dream

So as of late i've found it a little more difficult to keep up with my blogging. Partially because my life has truly become "normal" for me here, partially because most days it's hard to find the words to explain what's happening in and around me, but mostly because i've been trying to spend as much time as I can with my host community in my remaining time here.

Last night though in a surge of emotion and creativity, a video emerged. I'd like to share that video with you all, as well as use it as my final entry to this blog. This chapter of my life is quickly coming to an end, and with all endings comes a new beginning. Look for a new blog coming your way soon. Much love, sala senkle, stay well and God bless.

Peace

Practice Makes Perfect….Maybe

One of the big things that the YAGM South Africa group has been focusing on and discussing this year is spiritual practices. Ones that we already carried with us before our time in South Africa, ones that we wanted to try and develop throughout our time here, and maybe even practices that we found to be in effect for ourselves.

Before my time here I carried a few practices that I liked to exercise on a pretty regular basis. Centering prayer, journaling, and light mediation probably being the three core basis for myself. Throughout my time here though those practices have developed, changed, and i've even added a few new practices. The centering prayer when I arrived was basically a simple quiet time. A time each day that I could have to myself with my thoughts and prayers. In my early months here I have to admit that I neglected this practice more than I was use to, and probably should have. I was still doing a lot of reflecting of coarse, almost non stop, but it was more on the spot as things were happening. The sensory overload of being in a new country, culture and home made it more difficult for me to slow myself down and truly reflect deeply about what was going on all around me. Journaling actually increased. Before arriving I would journal maybe two or three times a week. In my first 6 months here though I found myself journaling on a daily basis. I had a lot of things to write about and a lot of different things running through my mind, as would be expected. In recent months though it has returned to about two or three times a week. The meditation/quiet time before my time here was more of a stress outlet when I was feeling overwhelmed. I found it hard to slow myself down in the speed of the American culture and really take the time to be with my deeper thoughts and prayers. In my time here in South Africa though I would have the tendency to say that practice has increased greatly, especially in recent months.

There have been practices though that I have only developed since being here. Yoga, has very much become part of my spiritual and life practices. Now if you would have told me 12 months ago that I would be practicing yoga, let alone enjoying it, I very well may have laughed at you. Since starting the practice roughly six weeks ago though, I have found it to be a vital part of my daily routine. It allows me a bit of introverted time (which I need), meditation time, and centering prayer all in one. It has also made me much more aware of my own body. Posture, breathing, and all around self awareness, opening a completely new lens to view my surrounds with on a daily basis. "Note Taking", has also become a major part of my daily life. Since the first of the year i've been carrying a small pocket notebook with me everywhere I go. I don't write long journal type entries in it, but just small little tidbits that are at my mind at the time. It's created a space for me to allow wonder to be a part of my daily life rather than judgement. While sitting waiting for a taxi, watching kids at the creche, attending church services, or simply being in new atmospheres it has become a tool for me. The biggest of all new practices though would have to be my choice to become vegetarian, which in a sense is much more a life choice than a practice. I've tried vegetarianism before, but never had a real solid reason or foundation behind the choice to keep me true to it. Being in South Africa has given me a real life face to my reasons for this life choice though, from moral treatment of animals, developed capital based corporations taking advantage of the developing world, as well as personal health.

As my time here is very quickly coming to an end, it's made me realize how important these new practices have become to me. How important it's going to be for me to keep these practices alive when I return to a place of comfort back home and head into the next chapter of my life. I encourage anyone reading this to try starting a new practice they've always considered, but never taken the time to fully commit to. Whether it be spiritual, religious, or simply a new life practice. Find something that feeds you and brings you to life inside. When you're fed and nourished, everything else around you has this incredible way of working itself out and falling into place, exactly as it is meant to for the time at hand.

" Do not ask yourself what the world needs, ask yourself what makes you come alive, and then go do that. Because what the world needs is more people who are alive."

Peace

*written May 18th

The Religious "Other"

Over the recent Easter holiday I was privileged enough to have the opportunity to attend a lot of different churches and services. In the process of attending said services I found myself receiving somewhat mixed signals from my host community. Some highly encouraged me to see all I could while I'm here, a logic I tend to agree with, and some others showed unsure responses to the thought that I had or would be attending churches other than their own. All these reactions really got me thinking and the more I allowed my thoughts to absorbed in it all, the more one word in particular kept coming back to the forefront of my mind, tribalism.

I use this word somewhat reluctantly because of the depth and magnitude that it can hold in this conversation, ss well as the tricky role language can play in this conversation. If we want to be perfectly honest with our selves we could possibly even say that tribalism seams to be the standard nearly world wide, not just in the church. However, for the sake of conversation and strain on your eyes, I want to keep this church specific.

Tribalism as defined by New Oxford American Dictionary means the state or fact of being organized in a tribe or tribes. So in this particular instance we're discussing churches rather than tribes, but you still catch my drift. So I can't help but find myself thinking, why is that Christians, who are all supposedly followers of Christ, who's all encompassing ideology is supposedly love, have such a difficult time practicing religious cooperation, or even a multi-affiliation community?

Serving as a YAGM in a country such as South Africa means that I wrestle with topics of tribalism and segregation on almost a daily basis. Through my time here though i've come to realize that it's almost just as prevalent in the states as it is here, in terms of the church anyway.

Why don't we attend "others" churches more often? Why can't we organize activities together? Why can't we get together and openly discuss our faiths with one another? How is a person, especially a young person, ever suppose to truly understand their faith if they've never been allowed the opportunity to explore, study or maybe even expand on it?

Exposure, education and experiences with the religious "other" should be encouraged rather than feared or discouraged. In his article written last year, Rev. Donald Heckman had this to say on the topic. "People should have a right to identify themselves as they wish, as long as it is not offensive. Self description is a matter of justice." The need for a movement for religious cooperation has never been greater. Religion, faith, and spirituality can no longer be a privatized practice. It can no longer be seen as taboo or in polite to publicly have these conversations. Whether it's in South Africa, America, or anywhere else in the world. The time for religious pluralism is now.

So, I plan to continue "stirring the pot" and causing question in peoples religious, spiritual and faith based minds. Just one day we may all be able to witness the true coming of heaven here on earth, if that's what you believe anyway.

 

Peace

*written April 21st

All I Have To Give Is Myself

As a westerner one of the first things most people feel compelled to do when they arrive in a less developed country is fix things. Whether it be physical things or social systems, we take it upon ourselves as our job to set things straight. As a part of the YAGM program we do just the opposite. We show up in our communities mostly empty handed and ask to simply be apart of the day to day grind, hear peoples stories, and maybe even share a couple of our own along the way.

All that being said, during my time here in South Africa, I've found it incredibly difficult to constructively redirect, or sometimes simply witness, the out pouring of international support being thrown in this communities direction. How can we help? What can we donate? How much is it all going to cost? All these questions are beautiful and come from a deep rooted desire to truly do something good, the only complication with asking them is that they create a much deeper seated result than they alleviate. What I'm trying to say is that in order to truly answer these questions the solution MUST be sustainable. Relief is great, but release feels even better. The reality of these questions is that the best place for sustainability and release to happen is usually right here on the home front.

In the last four to six weeks I've watched as countless South Africa Department of Education vehicles have showed up at Keromang Lutheran Early Learning Centre (the creche I work at) with school supplies, playground equipment, first aid supplies, toys for the kids, hygiene resources, and immunizations. There has even been running water again in recent weeks, when there hasn't been running water, except for on exceptionally lucky random days, for an unknown period of time. Every last bit of it came from the South African government, not an outside overseas source. All the new arrivals have brought great joy both to the kids as well as the staff members, as most of the things were well overdue.

We can all agree that the Department of Education may be a bit behind (years in most cases) on getting these resources distributed to schools that are in dire need of them, but they still did it and more importantly they did it on their own. Yet I still feel an uneasy sense balling up in the pit of my stomach as I watch all these things suddenly appearing. The arrival of all these much needed resources has all happened so conveniently right in the months leading up to the next presidential election. The presidential election in which current president, Jacob Zuma, is running for re-election.

I am by no means trying to say that I've got it figured out, cause I'm not even close. I spend at least a small portion of each day trying to devise a well rounded, sustainable, self maintained system in my head and I never quite seam to figure one out. Yes we are called to feed, cloth, and help our brothers and sisters, but that relationship has to be a two way street in some way. So for now, being that I am a YAGM, i'll stick to trying to develop lasting, loving, and deep seated relationships with as many people in my host community as I can. Because at the end of the day, when the bread doesn't make it to the table or clean drinking water isn't accessible in some forgotten place in the world, that love and those bonds will always be there.

 

Peace

*written April 11th

Secret Secrets Are Really Fun!!

This post is for no other than reason than to convey a message I've been keeping quiet up until this point. IM A NEW BIG BROTHER!!! My host mother had her baby this evening and the Mogale family has been blessed with another healthy little baby girl named Kitso. God is truly good :)

 

Peace

*written April 9th

Dominate The Conversation

There have been many times through out my time here that I have found personal growth and change happening in the last places I expected them too. But the realization that hit home today is by far my biggest surprise yet.

A couple weeks ago my little sister Kiki was dominating the dinner conversation, as usual, when the topic of my departure came up. She had decided that having me around was ok with her and that she, in-fact, had decided that she would like another malome (uncle, all the creche kids call me this) from America to come stay with them again next year. Then she decided that wasn't what she wanted, and would just come home with me when I left in July instead. Yep that's what she wanted. We all laughed as she proudly declared this to the table so matter of fact. I thanked her and told her that if she was lucky she may just get to have another malome from America next year.

The conversation shifted and regular evening routines followed. At the time it all just seamed like casual conversation. As we sat around the same table tonight for dinner, I ounce again looked and listened to Kiki across the table dominating the conversation. Except this time it was different. It felt almost like a movie scene. Like time itself had slowed down, and as I watched and listened from across the table I begin to realize just how much this beautiful little five year old has truly shaped my year here as well as the rest of my life.

She's taught me patience. Patience that I never gave to my younger siblings back home. Patience in the eyes of challenge and that it takes great patience to perceiver in times of doubt and the unknown. She's shown me the blissful innocence of a child in ways that I've never understood it before. She's given me part of my voice here. Without her helping me and teaching me I wouldn't know a lot of the Tswana language I've learned. But most of all she's shown me friendship. Completely unconditional loving friendship when she didn't have to.

Tonight Kitlano Mogale broke through a personal defense system that nobody has ever entered in 23 years. Tonight as I sat across the table watching her giggle, tell stories and laugh, I've never been so happy, humbled, and blessed to listen to her dominate the conversation.

 

Peace

*written April 5th

Life In Words

For this blog post I simply want to share some short writings, or excerpts from writings, that have echoed within me and my journey so far during my time here in South Africa. Hope you enjoy, and who knows one of them may just change your life.

Peace

“So many people live within unhappy circumstances and yet will not take the initiative to change their situation because they are conditioned to a life of security, conformity, and conservatism, all of which may appear to give one peace of mind, but in reality nothing is more dangerous to the adventurous spirit within a man than a secure future. The very basic core of a man’s living spirit is his passion for adventure. The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.”

-Jon Krakauer, Into the Wild

"Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world."

~ Harriet Tubman

"Simple. Faith is a gift, not something we intellectually achieve, or earn…..It's an ever changing relationship between you, God, and ALL God's creation. Faith is how we live into that gift (you already have it, it's obvious). Questions are a big part of deciding how we live into the gift. Questions and doubt don't mean there is no faith, rather, that the relationship between you and God is deepening and growing. Keep on the journey, Jesus is right beside you, even when you don't know or feel it, and especially when you're at your lowest or weakest."     

 - Luke Roehl (South Africa YAGM 2013-2014)

"Come in out of the cold, forget all that you know, because there's always been room by the fire for you." 

- Tim Mcilrath (Rise Against)

"The trouble with creation is not that it is imperfect, but that it is perfectly misunderstood."

- Keenan Weatherford

"God, not psychological similarities or social circumstances, is our bond."

- Henri Nouwen from Solitude and Community

Your great mistake is to act the drama

as if you were alone. As if life

were a progressive and cunning crime

with no witness to the tiny hidden

transgressions. To feel abandoned is to deny

the intimacy of your surroundings. Surely,

even you, at times, have felt the grand array;

the swelling presence, and the chorus, crowding

out your solo voice You must note

the way the soap dish enables you,

or the window latch grants you freedom.

Alertness is the hidden discipline of familiarity.

The stairs are your mentor of things

to come, the doors have always been there

to frighten you and invite you,

and the tiny speaker in the phone

is your dream-ladder to divinity.

Put down the weight of your aloneness and ease into

the conversation. The kettle is singing

even as it pours you a drink, the cooking pots

have left their arrogant aloofness and

seen the good in you at last. All the birds

and creatures of the world are unutterably

themselves. Everything is waiting for you.

  -- David Whyte

       from Everything is Waiting for You

     ©2003 Many Rivers Press

"Our task as image-bearing, God-loving, Christ-shaped, Spirit-filled Christians, following Christ and shaping our world, is to announce redemption to a world that has discovered its fallenness, to announce healing to a world that has discovered its brokenness, to proclaim love and trust to a world that knows only exploitation, fear and suspicion...The gospel of Jesus points us and indeed urges us to be at the leading edge of the whole culture, articulating in story and music and art and philosophy and education and poetry and politics and theology and even--heaven help us--Biblical studies, a worldview that will mount the historically-rooted Christian challenge to both modernity and postmodernity, leading the way...with joy and humor and gentleness and good judgment and true wisdom." 

- N.T. Wright

To be of the Earth is to know

the restlessness of being a seed

the darkness of being planted

the struggle toward the light

the pain of growth into the light

the joy of bursting and bearing fruit

the love of being food for someone

the scattering of your seeds

the decay of the seasons

the mystery of death

and the miracle of birth

— John Soos, Earth Prayer

(quoted in Christ in a Grain of Sand: An Ecological Journey with the Spiritual Exercises)

One of the greatest dangers in the spiritual life is self-rejection. When we say, “If people really knew me, they wouldn’t love me,” we choose the road toward darkness. Often we are made to believe that self-deprecation is a virtue, called humility. But humility is in reality the opposite of self-deprecation. It is the grateful recognition that we are precious in God’s eyes and that all we are is pure gift. To grow beyond self-rejection we must have the courage to listen to the voice calling us God’s beloved sons and daughters, and the determination always to live our lives according to this truth.

- Henri Nouwen

"Participation in community in which I can experience the extremes of my life without shame, know that my fears will be truly understood, and that people will dance for joy with me as an equal is a blessing to be nurtured."

- Emily Kimball ( United Kingdom YAGM 2013-2014)

"Life is no straight and easy corridor along

which we travel free and unhampered,

but a maze of passages,

through which we must seek our way,

lost and confused, now and again

checked in a blind alley.

But always, if we have faith,

a door will open for us,

not perhaps one that we ourselves

would have ever thought of,

but one that will ultimately

prove good for us."

- A. J. Cronin

“Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one's lifetime.”

― Mark Twain, The Innocents Abroad/Roughing It