All I Have To Give Is Myself

As a westerner one of the first things most people feel compelled to do when they arrive in a less developed country is fix things. Whether it be physical things or social systems, we take it upon ourselves as our job to set things straight. As a part of the YAGM program we do just the opposite. We show up in our communities mostly empty handed and ask to simply be apart of the day to day grind, hear peoples stories, and maybe even share a couple of our own along the way.

All that being said, during my time here in South Africa, I've found it incredibly difficult to constructively redirect, or sometimes simply witness, the out pouring of international support being thrown in this communities direction. How can we help? What can we donate? How much is it all going to cost? All these questions are beautiful and come from a deep rooted desire to truly do something good, the only complication with asking them is that they create a much deeper seated result than they alleviate. What I'm trying to say is that in order to truly answer these questions the solution MUST be sustainable. Relief is great, but release feels even better. The reality of these questions is that the best place for sustainability and release to happen is usually right here on the home front.

In the last four to six weeks I've watched as countless South Africa Department of Education vehicles have showed up at Keromang Lutheran Early Learning Centre (the creche I work at) with school supplies, playground equipment, first aid supplies, toys for the kids, hygiene resources, and immunizations. There has even been running water again in recent weeks, when there hasn't been running water, except for on exceptionally lucky random days, for an unknown period of time. Every last bit of it came from the South African government, not an outside overseas source. All the new arrivals have brought great joy both to the kids as well as the staff members, as most of the things were well overdue.

We can all agree that the Department of Education may be a bit behind (years in most cases) on getting these resources distributed to schools that are in dire need of them, but they still did it and more importantly they did it on their own. Yet I still feel an uneasy sense balling up in the pit of my stomach as I watch all these things suddenly appearing. The arrival of all these much needed resources has all happened so conveniently right in the months leading up to the next presidential election. The presidential election in which current president, Jacob Zuma, is running for re-election.

I am by no means trying to say that I've got it figured out, cause I'm not even close. I spend at least a small portion of each day trying to devise a well rounded, sustainable, self maintained system in my head and I never quite seam to figure one out. Yes we are called to feed, cloth, and help our brothers and sisters, but that relationship has to be a two way street in some way. So for now, being that I am a YAGM, i'll stick to trying to develop lasting, loving, and deep seated relationships with as many people in my host community as I can. Because at the end of the day, when the bread doesn't make it to the table or clean drinking water isn't accessible in some forgotten place in the world, that love and those bonds will always be there.

 

Peace

*written April 11th