During our orientation in Chicago we were
asked to take a look at these questions. At the time I couldn't even begin to
answer them. I think it really bothered me that couldn't answer them too. Now
after being abroad for awhile, I've had enough time to really think them over.
Not to mention the amount of personal growth I've already experienced. I wanted
to share these reflections with you and give you a little better glimpse into
what it means to be a volunteer, to be a an American volunteer, and most of all
to be a representative of the ELCA as a Young Adult in Global Mission.
1.
In what situations/contexts are you most aware of
your own power and/or privilege?
⁃
When
first asked this question at orientation I really couldn't even begin to answer
it. I actually took these questions down and just shelved them because I
couldn't even process them at the time they were being asked. Since being in SA
though my reaction to these have changed drastically. I feel most aware of my
power/privilege in every single situation/context here. I have all these fun
toys with me, my computer, iPod, Ext. Hard Drive, Movies, Music, etc. Very few
others here have those things. In listening to peoples stories since arriving,
I have had SO many opportunities and chances to do things in my life that most
of the people here will never get to do, let alone dream of doing. College,
work, having my own home, provide for a family, owning a vehicle, the list goes
on. It will definitely be something I take with me from this year that I never
would have anticipated being something I would gain more understand of in my
year.
2.
Whether consciously or unconsciously, how
have you used your privilege, both as an individual and as a member of various
groups?
⁃
I
really wasn't able to answer this question at orientation either. Looking back
now since having some time here though I think I can answer it pretty well. For
me it has mostly been unconsciously that I have used my power/privilege back
home. I first identified it when Tessa blatantly told me about it. Im so very
thankful that she did and didn't sugarcoat it either. Ive grown up in a western
male culture. We strive constantly to out do, be better then, and appear
dominant to all others. Ive been gifted with fairly decent intelligence, many
different skill sets, and various other traits that have allowed me to advance
and be rather successful in that cultural system. I have had to really step
outside that system here in SA. Ive become pretty good at identifying when I
could take the western male approach to a situation and fix something or show
someone a "better" way to do something, and rather then acting I sit
back and just observe now. Not only has it allowed me to watch and observed
others, it's allowed me to learned a lot about myself. Its been something that
I've been able to hold over people. And its something I did without even
knowing it until now, when I have been pulled from the system and forced to
look at things through a different lens. It hasn't been easy by any means. It
too is something I will take back home with me that I never would have
anticipated gaining from my YAGM experience.
3.
How might your identity connect with
others' perception of your power and privilege in the international context?
⁃
This
one was much harder and a much different response then I was expecting. Back
home I'm a pretty grungy, outdoor, simple person. Or at least I thought I was.
But even my grungy, simple, less extravagant style/identity back home still
bears a lot of power/privilege over people in my host community. Things as
simple as my Nalgene. As an outdoor/backcountry enthusiast I literally take my
Nalgene everywhere, and I'm always trying to drink water. It's just kind of a
cultural norm back home. But here, something as simple as having a water bottle
displays power/privilege over people. It is not the cultural norm here. Very
few people have water bottles. In fact, drinking water at all isn't really a
big deal around here in my experiences. In a lot of contexts even if people did
have a water bottle, it would be much harder to fill up then it is for me back
home. It wasn't even something I had to think about back home, but its a very
real difference and perception here. So when I first got here my Nalgene went
with me everywhere, but now a couple weeks in it rarely leaves the house.
4.
How might you be attentive to looking for ways that
power and privilege are lived out in your host community?
⁃
I
think this one is a much less complicated response then I first was trying to
look for back at orientation. Observation, the power of true observation can
get you a long way. Being dropped into a new culture with new traditions and
different do's & don'ts then you're use to forces you to become an expert
in the field of observation. I feel like I've always been rather fair at the
practice of observation, but I have been able take my skills in the field to a
whole new level. I think this also ties into the western male "fix it/out
do/make it better" cultural system. When you take a step back rather then
stepping in, you truly can see much more of the situation that is going on
around you. You get a more complete storyline of the people around you, rather
then the single story line you may have gotten if you had just stepped in. The
other way I've found that might sound ridiculous but has worked for me is ask.
You can learn a lot by asking people who do know the cultural systems better
then you. And I've found that most of the time people are more then willing, if
not happy, to share with you.
5.
How can you be a responsible steward of
your power and privilege in your host community?
⁃
This
one has probably been the hardest honestly. Like I said before, I can feel/sense
my power/privilege in almost every situation or context. I have had to work
really really hard at forcing myself to identify the times my power or
privilege is oppressing someone around me. My computer rarely leaves my room.
The only time it does is when my host father also has his out in the living
room and we are both doing some work. There also have been multiple chances for
me to "fix" things since arriving. Whether it be my host fathers four
wheeler, something around the house, a piece of playground equipment at the
creche, or a system that is in place here that I view as something that could
be fine tuned and better organized. With Tessa's help in identifying my western
male tendencies, I've chose to step back from these situations and merely observe
instead. It has allowed for stronger relationships between me and my host
community I think. It has showed them and me that I'm not here to fix or change
or tell them how to do things. That I am truly here to learn and walk with them
in accompaniment.
Peace
*written October 7th
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